There's got to be a Morning After
by chatnoir1
Summary: The morning after an awesome party, Steve awakens to find himself and Loki in bed together naked, and no memory of what happened. Has Steve lost his virginity to Loki? Will Thor kill him? Has Clint really turned into a Zombie wearing a woman's robe or is he just monstrously hung-over? Will Loki be able to answer Steve's questions?


**There's got to be a Morning after**

**A.N. **It's all Norse Mythology and Marvel Comics fault. They created the universe. I just run amok in it.

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Steve Rogers stretched as he woke and noticed right off that things were not as they should be. For one, he was naked beneath the sheets. He never slept naked. Two, there was someone else in bed with him. Thor's little brother Loki. Steve lifted the sheet. Make that Thor's naked little brother Loki. Not good. Three, the sheets had been changed. He did not have green sheets.

There had been quite the party at the Avengers mansion last night, he remembered. But the super soldier serum prevented him from getting drunk. And he was pretty sure that he had gone to bed in his usual pajama bottoms and t-shirt, and he'd been alone. Should he wake Loki? Something told him that would be a very bad idea. He put on a t-shirt and sweatpants, then headed towards the kitchen. Maybe someone would be there who could answer his questions. Someone besides Thor. Thor wouldn't be helpful, though he might be homicidal, his little brother being naked in Steve's bed and all.

He was much relieved to find Bruce there, sitting at the table, reading the paper, drinking coffee and eating a cinnamon roll. There was a large bag on the kitchen counter that contained several more. Steve took one, poured a glass of orange juice and sat down across from Bruce.

"Bruce. I have a problem."

Bruce looked up from his paper. "What? You don't get drunk, so no hangover. I wouldn't want to be Clint this morning though, or Loki."

"I woke up this morning naked in bed with Loki. And I don't know how or why." Steve ran his fingers through his hair.

"That's more than a problem, that's a potential catastrophe. Maybe I should go take a walk, for like a couple of days."

Clint came into the kitchen, doing his best zombie imitation. Or maybe it wasn't an imitation. He was wearing a white chenille robe embroidered with black spiders, probably Natasha's. It didn't cover enough of him to hide his jersey boxers, which were covered in tiny skulls. He spared them a look, then headed for the coffee, with all the desperation of a dying man. He was never drinking again.

"We're all out of brains this morning, you'll have to settle for one of the cinnamon rolls." Bruce said. "Hey, it could be worse, you could be Steve. Steve woke up in bed naked with Loki."

"That's screwed up, Steve."

"Hold on, I'm not sure that anything happened, apart from nudity." Steve was gonna grasp at any lifeline he could and hang on. "Darn it, I was wearing pajamas when I went to bed, and I was alone."

Clint shrugged. "Some people sleep walk, maybe you had sleep sex."

Steve threw his hands up. "I did not have sleep sex."

"Did our senior citizen virgin finally get lucky?" Tony asked as he entered the kitchen and headed for the coffee. He looked in remarkably good shape, considering.

"Not so lucky, looks like he had sex with Loki."

"Really? Kind of ambitious for a first time driver. That's kind of like skipping the pedal car all together and going straight to the Lamborghini."

"I did not have sex with..." Steve stopped as Thor entered the room. Thor headed for the Pop Tarts. "Anyone." Steve finished.

Thor had finally gotten the hang of the toaster, and when his Pop Tarts were done, he poured a cup of coffee and joined Steve and Bruce at the table, taking a seat next to Bruce. Clint remained standing, fearing that if he sat down, he would slide off the chair, onto the floor and just stay there. Tony put a couple of pieces of bread in the toaster.

Thor was on his second round of Pop Tarts when Loki came in, wearing a pair of green plaid pajama bottoms, and with the worst case of bedhead Tony had ever seen. Tony thought Loki looked positively adorable and where in the hell had that thought come from, better send it back. Loki tilted his head and looked at Steve with a puzzled expression, then sat down next to his brother, folded his arms on the table and buried his head in them. Whimpers of distress came from him. Bruce took Loki's entrance as his cue to leave. Tony sat a bottle of water, a couple of antacid tablets and a piece of toast on the table next to Loki, then took the seat recently vacated by Bruce. Loki raised his head, opened one bloodshot green eye, glanced at Tony's offerings, then buried his head again.

After a few more minutes of whimpering, Loki raised back up and nibbled on the toast. "I want to die. And no you can't take that as an invitation to assist me." Loki popped the antacid tablets into his mouth, grimaced at the taste, and opened the water. "I'm trying to remember what happened, but everything is surrounded by mist. I woke up naked in your bed, Captain Rogers. Did we have sex last night? I am experiencing no soreness, but then I wouldn't have bottomed myself to a human."

Steve looked like the proverbial deer in the headlights and Thor looked at him as if Steve was the prize buck of the season, and Thor's gun was locked and loaded. Thor started to rise and Tony placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Easy there, Point Break. We aren't sure of the facts, yet. Yes, your brother and Steve were naked in Steve's bed, but we don't know if anything happened. I don't see any love bites on either one of them. Are you sore anywhere unmentionable Steve?"

Steve turned a beautiful shade of red, a red that would make a tomato envious. "I'm not sure you're helping Tony, but no, I'm not sore."

"There you go, big guy, question answered. Though, I guess Loki and Steve could have had oral sex, but no backdoor adventures."

"You really aren't helping Tony." Steve looked at the thunderheads gathering around Thor's brow.

"No, I appear to be hindering, but what did you expect. It's me." Tony got up to refresh his coffee. He grabbed a cinnamon roll on his way back to the table, and sat down.

Natasha walked into the kitchen and paused to have a look. Thor was glowering at Steve and Loki looked like he might break down in tears at any moment. Tony, coffee and cinnamon roll in hand, was sitting to Thor's right, apparently unconcerned. Clint was leaning on the counter. And was that HER robe he was wearing? "What the fuck Clint? Is that my robe?"

"I can't talk about this right now." Clint said 'I'm going back to my bed." He took off Natasha's robe and handed it to her. "There. Yell at me later. A lot later." Clint left.

Natasha grabbed a cinnamon roll and a cup of coffee and decided to go sit on one of the sofas and turn on the news. Things felt a little tense in the room. Which might explain why Bruce wasn't there.

Steve got up and went into the kitchen. "I'm gonna cook some eggs and bacon, it should help Loki feel better. Then we can figure out what happened."

"I'd like some eggs and bacon." Tony said, a hopeful note in his voice.

Steve snorted. "Yeah, too bad. Maybe you should have been more helpful and less Tony Starkish."

It didn't take long for Steve to fix the eggs and bacon. He put them on a plate, grabbed a fork, poured a cup a coffee, added a lot of sugar and then set the whole lot in front of Loki. "Eat, or I'll feed you myself."

Thor and Loki both looked at Steve as if he had lost his mind. Steve stood there, arms folded, gaze fixed sternly on the troublesome God of Mischief. Loki huffed in annoyance, but he ate. And drank the coffee.

Steve sat back down at the table to wait for Loki's brain to clear.

"I need another cup of coffee. And add a little more sugar this time."

"The correct word here is please. As in I would like another cup of coffee, please."

Loki responded in a language Steve was unfamiliar with, and Thor gave his brother a disapproving look. Loki huffed. "I would like another cup of coffee, please. And don't think that I will forget about this Captain Rogers. You are now on my to do list."

"I thought you just did Steve. Isn't that what this Is all about?" Tony said, and three pairs of eyes glared at him. "Whatever."

Steve, Tony and Thor sat waiting silently until Loki finished his second cup of coffee. Loki sighed and set the cup down. "It is becoming clearer to me, and you can rest easy Captain Rogers. We did not have sex. What happened was rather unpleasant, actually, you are fortunate to have slept through it all. I was disoriented and ended up in your bedroom, where I promptly emptied my stomach contents on you, the bed and myself. You are a very sound sleeper, but I augmented that with a small spell so you wouldn't awaken, then I waggled my fingers and got rid of the evidence. I replaced your bed sheets. Your physical form is pleasing enough, and I was becoming rather light headed, so I didn't bother with clothing. Mystery solved."

Steve nodded. "Well, that explains a lot, including the green sheets." He decided not to comment about his 'physical form being pleasing enough'.

'Indeed." Loki stood up. "Now if you will excuse me, I believe I will take a shower. Maybe two. Then I am returning to bed. My own bed, thank you very much."

"Don't forget that Mother and Father are expecting us for the evening meal tonight, brother."

"Bloody bugger fuck it all." Loki muttered as he left.

"Language brother!" Thor shook his head. Loki was picking up some bad habits in Midgard.

"Well, I'm off for a run. Anyone care to join me?" Steve expected no takers, but it was polite to ask. And Steve was all about politeness.

"I do not understand this running when you are not hunting or being chased. I think I will see if Natasha wants to spar."

Tony shook his head. "I never run. I makes you sweaty and I'm totally opposed to getting sweaty when there is no sex inolved. I'm heading for the lab."

"See you later then." Steve left.

Tony headed off to see where Bruce had gone to hide until things had blown over, and Thor dragged Natasha off to the gym to train.

And there was peace once again. Not a 'son of a bitch', or a 'I'm gonna kill your little brother Thor' to be heard.


End file.
